Heidi Montag works out 14 hours a day?!

Heidi Montag

So as I mentioned yesterday, Heidi Montag hosted a party with Crystal Harris over the weekend, because the only thing more painful than when there’s a useless plastic whore is when there’s TWO useless plastic whores! You know, in case one malfunctions. Anyway, Heidi decided to play up her fleeting glimpse of attention by telling anyone who will listen that she works out 14 hours a day, which is a total crock of shit because rubber loses its elasticity after an hour and Heidi doesn’t look like a worn-out rubber band yet.

“I’ve been working out from, like, 5 a.m. to 7 p.m. for two months now. I’ve been working out really hard because I had this pool party and I was like, I have to be in shape,” she told Us Weekly. “And I was actually a lot overweight. It was the most I’ve ever been because I’ve kind of been in hiding eating pie with my husband and puppies, so I needed to get back in shape.” At her heaviest, the 5’2″ reality star claimed she weighed 130 pounds; she’s currently back down to 103. How did the Hills alum lose 27 pounds so quickly? “I’ve been running a lot, and I’ve been doing weights,” she said. “When you work out, you boost your metabolism, so you have to [make sure you eat enough].” SOURCE

Yeah, about that … this is what is known as “total fucking bullshit”. Here’s the thing: I go to the gym (I know, *groan*. I’m fully aware there’s no way you can talk about going to the gym without sounding like a complete a-hole, but I bring it up to make a point, so bear with me) every day for an hour. Even the healthiest and most active people you can find will tell you that an hour at the gym is probably the most you should go for, whereas fourteen hours at the gym every day would probably fucking kill you dead. Also, since when is 130 lbs overweight? Jesus, your boobs alone probably weight about as much as a kindergarten student and you’ve already cut off your fucking back. What’s left to lose, internal organs?

Heidi Montag


About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.