Lindsay Lohan’s parents are writing tell-all books

Michael, Lindsay and Dina Lohan

Michael, Lindsay and Dina Lohan

At this point, Lindsay Lohan‘s famewhoring parents have divulged enough dirty details about their daughter’s life that we can basically pinpoint the precise moment where they ruined LiLo forever. But of course, you can never not make enough money off of destroying a human being you created, so now both Dina Lohan and Michael Lohan are getting their own tell-all book deals. This is such a crime against American literature that I’m pretty sure God went back in time and obliterated F. Scott Fitzgerald from history. Via the NY Daily News

Lindsay Lohan’s father, Michael, whose ex, Dina, is writing a scalding tell-all book that is not expected to portray him favorably, has decided to become an author too. He has signed a deal to pen his own memoir about the wacky family, according to TMZ. The book is tentatively titled, “I Am Not Daddy Dearest … If I Can Turn It All Around, You Can Too!” The tome will focus on how he became a “Bible-quoting minister, drug interventionist and successful businessman.”

HA! That’s funny, tell us another one … Oh, wait, he’s serious? HAHAHAHA! That’s so much better! There’s no way Michael is that delusional. There’s just no way. That is physically impossible. If he thinks he turned it all around by essentially selling out his daughter so hard that she’s repeatedly vowed never to speak to him ever again, than yes, he sure turned it around.

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Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.