Lindsay Lohan pleads no contest, avoids jail!

Lindsay Lohan

It’s offical! Lindsay Lohan‘s lawyer, Shawn Holley, just entered LiLo’s plea of no contest, and now Lindsay gets to spend two weeks at home in her fabulous Venice beach house doing jackshit! And yet somehow, I’m like *this* sure she’ll find some way to screw up being sentenced to a two week vacation.

Lindsay will not get additional time for the theft.  She will be required to serve 120 days for her probation violation, and Judge Sautner is allowing Lindsay to do the time at home, with an electronic monitoring device. In reality, the 120 days will amount to 14 days.  But during that time, Lindsay cannot leave her home, even to do community service. Lindsay must complete psychological counseling and a shoplifters alternative class — seriously. Once Lindsay completes her 480 hours of community service, her probation in the DUI case will terminate, but Lindsay is now on 3 years probation for the theft — so if she screws up again, she’s screwed. SOURCE

All right, time to break down the odds of how Lindsay can screw this up:

1:5 – Lindsay does enough alcohol/coke/baby aspirin to knock out a horse and drives her car through the house.

1:7 – Dina Lohan tries to spring her from the house in order to get free ice cream.

1:20 – Ends up stealing shit from her shoplifter’s alternative class.

1:50 – Sells one of the homeless ladies she volunteers for into slavery for meth money.

1:400 – Does everything she’s supposed to, and then the world ends on May 21st like all those crazy people think it will.

Lindsay Lohan

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.