Michael Lohan should just stop talking!

Michael Lohan

Because clearly, I’m some sort of masochist who gets off on watching two delusional liars point fingers at each and call “MALARKY!” on one another, Lindsay Lohan‘s dad, Michael ‘Mesh Shirt’ Lohan is claiming that Lindsay isn’t changing her name and that Dina Lohan is just trying to drive him and his daughter apart. Then Dina called Michael a “stinky doo-doo head”, then Michael said Dina farted, then they spent five minutes debating who smelt it and who dealt it before Michael kicked Dina in the vagina.

“At the outset, it hurts to hear something like that, but at the end of the day, it’s never going to happen,” Michael Lohan tells the Daily News. “It’s a real shame Dina would make up this kind of story. From the time she came out to California, she’s tried to put a wedge between Lindsay and me,” he adds. “Every time she comes around, she tries to put a wedge, and it’s only harmful to Lindsay and the children. This family needs therapy.”  SOURCE

So yes, no matter how you cut it, chances are you won’t even get half of a fraction of a percent of a sliver of the truth out of this story. I swear to God, at this point I just judge Lindsay’s well-being by assuming the opposite of everything her parents say are true. If one of them told TMZ that their daughter was sober and not on fire, you better goddamn believe I’d be running over with a fire extinguisher.

Michael Lohan

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.