GET AWAY FROM HIM, YOU BITCH!

An Aliens reference? Anyone? Anyone? Nope? Okay then. Anyway, Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock were spotted ringing in the new year together in Austin, Texas together, and based on the Law of TMZ, they are now having penis-vagina sex. Dammit, does nobody respect dibs anymore? Goddammit to hell…

“A group of old friends that included Ryan and Sandra spent New Year’s together at Sandra’s restaurant Bess Bistro,” her rep tells PEOPLE. “They all had a great time ringing in the New Year as they have in the past … as nothing more than friends.”
Despite speculation, a source close to Reynolds, 34, echoes the sentiment that there’s nothing romantic in real life between the on-screen lovebirds, who starred in The Proposal together. SOURCE

*Phew* Thank. GOD. Dodged a bullet there! Now all I have to do is get a plane ticket to Austin, pack my bags with chloroform, and make it through TSA security without going to third base. Seriously, only one finger? Bitch, that just insults me…

About JEREMY FEIST 4832 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.