Ashlee Simpson: Banging her ex-husband’s best friend

Ashlee Simpson, Pete Wentz and Craig Owens

Poor Pete Wentz … his sucky band has broken up, he looks like he styles his hair by jamming a fork into an electrical outlet, and now his soon-to-be ex-wife is now banging his best friend. Nice move, Ashlee Simpson. Nice move. I would have banged my ex’s friends too, but unfortunately they were either non-existant or fucking annoying.

Photos at E! News show Simpson, 25, shopping in L.A. with rocker Craig Owens, who holds her close with his arm around her shoulders. (Last month, the singer-actress filed for divorce from Fall Out Boy’s Wentz, 31, after nearly two years of marriage.) According to E!, singer-songwriter Owens, 26, is the former frontman for the punk group Chiodos, and is now signed to Wentz’ s record label, Decaydance. This summer, Owens will tour with a new group Wentz helped organize, D.R.U.G.S. (Destroy Rebuild Until God Shows). SOURCE

Holy shit, the only thing sadder than the fact that Ashlee is banging Pete’s best friend is the fact that she actually banged Pete. Can you believe that shit? Just imagine trying to maintain a lady boner when your husband keeps crying to Tim Burton movies. “He wants to hold her, but he can’t! BECAUSE OF HIS SCISSOR HANDS! *sobs* Oh, am I still inside you?”

Ashlee Simpson, Pete Wentz and Craig Owens

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.