Charlie Sheen is Kim Kardashian now!

Charlie Sheen and Kim Kardashian

So by now you have either (A) started following Charlie Sheen on Twitter, (B) know someone who is following him on Twitter who is retweeting everything on say because people need to hear the ravings of a coke-addicted psychopath, or (C) you’re not on Twitter because those blognets confuse you. Anyway, it turns out the only reason Charlie is on Twitter is to become a corporate shill, which officially means there are now three whores in Charlie’s mansion.

Sheen told us … his primary motivation behind the new ramblings is that he can score a fortune through advertising.  To give this some context, Kim Kardashian is reportedly pulling in $10,000 per tweet. We pressed him more, and Charlie interrupted by saying, “Mike, I’m unemployed!” In just 48 hours, Charlie has attracted 1.1 million followers. SOURCE

Wait, so according to the formula, coke + winning + tiger blood + setting your hands on fire + whores – kids = you turn into a Kardashian? Really? Jesus, and all this time I thought the only way to raise another famewhore was by sacrificing a virgin girl to the six-headed serpent that lives in the basement of E! Entertainment’s headquarters.

Charlie Sheen and Kim Kardashian

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.