Christina Aguilera is officially divorced!

Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman

If you have a thing for chubby, blonde drunks who can sing pretty, then have I got good news for you:  Christina Aguilera is now officially divorced, which means you can now get all up in that without it technically being adultery … oh, wait, that’s right, she’s still dating that DUI douchebag Matthew Rutler that no one’s ever heard of. All right, never mind, guess you’ll just have to go back to having sex with sane people again.

After a mandatory six-month waiting period, Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman‘s divorce was finalized Friday morning, court records unearthed by E! News confirm. After separating in September, Aguilera, 30, filed for divorce from music producer Bratman, 32, in October. The duo share a 3-year-old son, Max. Last fall, the star rebounded from Bratman with Matthew Rutler, a set assistant she met while making Burlesque. SOURCE

Yeah, I’d say that’s kind of a lateral move, relationship wise. Actually, when you really think about it, Christina Aguilera has never really been a big relationship girl, has she? No, seriously, off the top of your head think of one of her boyfriends, other than the two above … no? Exactly. I’m not saying that she should probably just forget about them and focus on random flings on the side, but I have twenty bucks right here that says the only ring she’ll be seeing in the foreseeable future is a prince Albert.

Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.