Danielle Staub is in stripper rehab! Seriously.

Danielle Staub

Well that was fast. Only two days after announcing to the world that her career was taking a lateral move by jumping ship from The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Prostitution HO-AAAAAH! Danielle Staub has quit her job as a strip club’s resident sob story (there’s one in every club) and is taking her sagging square tit implants to Dr. Drew‘s rehab for d-list famewhores. Seriously, how sad is that? I’m pretty sure Tom Waits wrote a song about this once …

Staub tells People.com, “I have addictions with love and low self-esteem, and I need help!” She added, “My low self-esteem derived from childhood sexual abuse and has messed with my mind and self-worth, and over the years I thought about getting help but pushed it deep into the depths of denial. For years I have had the suicide hotline on my cell phone and would like nothing more than to free myself from this constant pressure. Seeing how I have hurt myself and my family this time, I can no longer push it behind me.” SOURCE

On one hand, child abuse is never funny and not something you should take lightly. On the other hand, kinda funny how she’s doing all this now when she has a new reality show coming out, and she needs to stand out amongst all the other famewhores. Think about it: Taking a job as a coked-out stripper, faking real-life tragedies for attention, running off to Dr. Drew for fake problems … sorry, but Tila Tequila did this last year, and if it didn’t work then, I’m not buying it now.

Danielle Staub

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.