Donald Trump made Lady Gaga a star?

Donald Trump

When last we left Donald Trump, his sham run for presidency was dead and he was back to his old “business genius” gimmick: using money he inherited from someone else who actually earned it and using it to buy real estate in NYC, which is pretty much the easiest and most obvious way to earn money ever. So yeah, “business genius”. Keep saying that until is sticks, dumb-dumb. Anyway, Merkin-Head has decided it has been too long since you remembered how very annoying he really is, so in his new book (my English degree screamed “HELL IS HERE!” and then burst into flames when I typed that, true story) he claims that Lady Gaga is a major phenomenon all because of him. Really. Newser reports:

One thing is certain: Donald Trump has no shortage of self-esteem. In his new book, out this week, he takes credit for making Lady Gaga “a big star,” hypothesizing, “maybe she became a star because I put her on the Miss Universe Pageant. It’s very possible, who knows what would have happened without it, because she caused a sensation … I really believe I had at least something to do with it.”

See parents, this is why you need to beat your kids. I mean sure, they’ll grow up to resent you, but that’s what best-selling memoirs are for. And if you don’t, this is the kind of man your child will grow up to be: the kind of man who thinks being born into money and then using it to make more money off the easiest investments ever makes him a genius. Except when he goes bankrupt multiple times. Seriously: how do you go bankrupt even ONCE off real estate and casinos? I’m pretty sure that’s the polar opposite of a business genius. Point is, self-esteem is overrated. Teach your kids to be humble now before they become terrible and delusional.

Donald Trump

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.