Even people in prison think Paris Hilton’s a nuisance

Proving once and for all that celebrities are, in fact, better than you, Paris Hilton reportedly got rushed through the prison system pretty damn quickly after being brought in for being a filthy cokewhore. Okay, so granted their reasoning was “Paris Hilton is really annoying and we don’t want her”, but still, keep that in mind next time you get busted for holding a goddamn joint!

“Yeah, she was treated differently so I don’t have a disruption of my process here at the county jail,” Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Deputy Chief Jim Dixon, who runs the detention center, told the Las Vegas Review-Journal. “When you bring somebody in like that, everybody comes over and tries to look at them. I’d have officers attempting to keep inmates away from her. I’d have disruptions.” SOURCE

Now, I’m not saying that we could ensure that no one would ever be disrupted by Paris again if, instead of a jail cell, we stuck her in a locked vault and encased it in concrete, chains and bubble wrap and then throwing it in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, but – oh, wait, no, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Let’s make this happen people. If anyone needs me, I’ll be looking for a people-sized vault on Craigslist.

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.