Heidi Montag learns self-defense!

Now that she and her stupid husband are completely broke (No matter how many times I say that out loud, it never stops being funny!) Heidi Montag has decided to take up self-defense, since she can no longer afford bodyguards and Spencer Pratt is a huge pussy who couldn’t defend a leaf from a caterpillar.

Heidi has been training to become a black belt in Wing Tsun with her trainer (SIFU) Michael Casey who explained that “the system is geared straight towards self defense, so there are no rules. Punches, kicks, knees, elbows, ground fighting, strikes to vital areas. Anything goes as the goal of the system is to stop an opponent.” “It is scary to be out there without protection, people do follow me and you can never be to careful,” Heidi added. “It’s overwhelming, and it’s most difficult when I’m in large groups of people.” SOURCE

Yeah, about that … I wonder if she realizes what she’s learning is total bullshit? I mean, aside from the fact that she’s only doing this for publicity, all she does in the video of her training is half-ass punch a completely motionless target. Unless she thinks she’s going to get mugged by a mannequin or her husband during sex (ZING!) the bitch has another thing coming to her.

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.