Heidi Montag wants her old boobies back!

Girls, let this be a lesson to you all: Heidi Montag is desperate to reclaim her position as the head of the slightly-ittier-bitty-tittie-committee, due to severe back pain, ineffectual pain killers, and (I’m assuming here) because she looks like what would happen if Barbie became sentient and started dating a muppet.

Just one week after the untimely death of her plastic surgeon, Dr. Frank Ryan, Heidi Montag sat down exclusively with Life & Style to tell-all about her plastic surgery regrets, revealing that she wants her outrageous G implants removed. “I’m desperate to go back to normal,” she confides to Life & Style. “I’m downgrading and going a little smaller, to a D or a double D.”

More than nine months after she went under the knife on Nov. 20, Heidi says she is still in severe pain and her body has not gotten used to the over the top boob job. “I have major anxiety about it. I was taking painkillers but they weren’t working so I stopped. It hurt either way,” SOURCE

Awww, poor Heidi. Well, not really poor Heidi. I don’t care how gullible you are; if you’re honestly willing to undergo ten plastic surgery procedures at the same time, you deserve everything you have coming to you. Just make sure you don’t try and sleep on your back like a normal person. “I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!”

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.