J-Woww is a ‘Jersey Shore’ dumbass!

So J-Woww, the chick from Jersey Shore who has big boobs and isn’t Snooki, was reportedly offered $400,000 to pose topless for Playboy, only to turn them down because she said she had better things to do with her time. Ummmmm … wait, what? All you’re known for is having gigantic tits and having drunken sex on TV. Believe me, this is about as bright as your star is gonna shine.

“I am not going to do Playboy in the near future,” she told Ryan Seacrest on his KIIS-FM radio show Wednesday. “There is a better opportunity out there, which everybody will probably see soon.” J-Woww refused to reveal what the better opportunity is, and was cagey when asked whether she’ll be doing a spinoff with Snooki, who may star in her own dating show. SOURCE

Really? An MTV dating show? This is your ace in the hole? Alright, here’s a fun little fact: Did you know they once gave a dating show to one of the assholes who got kicked off of A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila? Seriously. They gave a dating show to Tila Tequila‘s sloppy-sixty-seconds. And we can all safely assume that he stuck his penis into the cavernous, barren, poisonous wasteland Tila calls a vagina, which means he’s probably been ruined for women forever, and they STILL gave him a dating show. And somehow you think this is going to be your ticket to the big time? Oh sweetie, no. Just … no.

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.