Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari split up

Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari

After presumably waking up one morning and realizing that he was about to agree to stick it in a harpy famewhore for the rest of his life, Jay Cutler decided to call off his engagement to Hills star Kristin Cavallari. The only reason given at this time is that she was a Hills star, and if that doesn’t scream “poor marriage material and harbinger of venereal disease”, I don’t know what does.

Chicago Bears player Jay Cutler has made it clear he and ex-fiancée Kristin Cavallari have split, changing his Facebook status to single late Sunday night. But Jay warns his friends not to bad mouth Kristin, RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned. “Thank you all for the support, but if you talk bad about Kristin I will delete and block you,” Jay wrote on his Facebook page early Monday morning. “It’s unecessary [sic] and heartless. Also, don’t say now I can play football, I could play football when I had her compared to when I don’t. Football is the least of my worries, so have some respect.” SOURCE

Very rarely do I ever say this, but this is a surprisingly classy move on his part, so kudos to him. That being said, I’m a gossip blogger and it is therefore my job to make fun of dipshit celebrities, so let’s jump right into it: good on him for calling it off. Kristin is pretty, no doubt about that, but she’s also a moral void lined with razor sharp teeth from which no man has ever returned. And that’s just her vagina!

Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.