Yup, Jessica Simpson is totally pregnant!

Jessica Simpson

After about fifty or so failed guesses, it looks like Jessica Simpson might be, like, REALLY pregnant this time. No, seriously. Actual pregnancy. Which is kinda weird because for the past week she’s been holding out for money before she actually announced it, but at this point she couldn’t be making this any more obvious if she had the ultrasound pinned to the front of her shirt with a big neon arrow pointing to her uterus. Us Weekly reports:

Engaged to beau Eric Johnson for nearly a year, the star rocked her curves — and held her midsection — wearing over-sized yellow sunglasses a loose-fitting, cold-weather poncho. In a sideways shot taken earlier that day, Simpson’s belly appeared a bit larger than usual. Simpson has been the subject of persistent pregnancy rumors over the past couple months, but has remained mum on the subject. One thing on her mind? The beautiful, sad music of indie rock sensation Bon Iver!

Not gonna lie: it kinda blows my mind that the woman who couldn’t understand that “chicken of the sea” is an idiom or that showing your pregnancy hand when you’re holding out for that sweet, sweet tabloid money can somehow understand the complexities of Bon Iver. Or that she can even say his name considering it’s a play on a french phrase. “Who’s this Good Winter guy? Cuz he sounds amazing! Or is it a girl? High voices confuse me …”

Jessica Simpson

PHOTO | FAME PICTURES

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.