John Mayer banged Giada De Laurentiis?! Hell naw!

Because John Mayer‘s racist KKKock will enter just about any vagina so long as it’s white, (Heil, mein Führer!) Star magazine is lying reporting that John got a piece of Food Network star Giada De Laurentiis‘ pie. And by pie, I mean her vagina.

Multiple sources tell Star that John Mayer has shared hot nights with sexy Food Network star Giada De Laurentiis. Last month, John and Giada — who has a 2-year-old daughter with her husband of seven years, Anthropologie fashion designer Todd Thompson — were seen together at the Boom Boom Room at The Standard hotel in New York. “John had one hand on the small of her back,” an eyewitness tells Star. “They looked like two people who were going to go home together.” SOURCE

Two things: First, Giada is waaaaaay too good for John Mayer. Sure, she pronounces LEE-MON-CHELL-OH! like a stroke victim, but that’s still about fifty-billion ranks above his league. Second, or is Star starting to lose its touch here? Come on people, that story was severely lacking in magical unicorn-riding leprechauns and pixie dust. Get your shit together people! If you guys start slacking off, who else is going to lie to us?

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.