Ke$ha explains why she looks like a neon hooker!

Oh Ke(Random Fucking Dollar Sign)ha … You try so hard, you really do. Anyway, in an interview with New York Magazine, the poor man’s Lady Gaga finally explained why she always looks like a sad clown hooker and what the hell she means by brushing your teeth with a bottle of Jack. Except she doesn’t so much “explain it” as she does “ramble on incoherently”. To-may-to, to-mah-to really.

You’ve gotten some heat over your lyrics about subjects like brushing your teeth with a bottle of Jack. Do you actually do that?
I have, but I don’t do it every day. It wasn’t an instruction manual for 8-year-old little girls to do.

You’ve been photographed with blue lips, covered in glitter, and most recently, with a gold tooth. What look are you going for?
I’m trying to look like a cross between Keith Richards and a hobo. But like a really ridiculously hot hobo. Or like a sexy pirate. SOURCE

Yeah, this explains … absolutely nothing actually. If anything, this just opens up even more questions. Why brush your teeth with Jack Daniels? Why not vodka? Does she even know who Keith Richards is, or what he looks like? Did she actually replace her vocal chords with an iPhone? I feel like this will be one of those unsolved mysteries lost to time, like Big Foot, or why people still watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.