Khloé Kardashian should not reproduce!

I’m not sure if you know this, but I hate kids. Like, a lot. If it were at all possible, I would make it so that kids were shipped off to an island until the age of 18. So the idea that Khloé Kardashian is trying to have kids would probably explain why I just threw my laptop across the room and started crying into a bottle of vodka. Why do stupid people keep breeding goddammit?!

Khloé Kardashian and Lamar Odom are itching to expand their family but it’s taking longer than they’ve expected, Khloé reveals to Life & Style. “I thought I’d be pregnant by now, We’ve been working at it all year.” But she has a great attitude about it. “Getting pregnant is much harder than we thought — but practicing making babies is amazing!”. In fact, Lamar is so intent on starting a family that he’s even bought Khloé a fertility monitor to gauge when she’s ovulating. “Khloé’s been using the monitor for about a month now,” a family insider tells Life & Style. “They’re trying more actively than ever before. Lamar is very serious — Khloé should be pregnant very, very soon.” SOURCE

I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear that last paragraph over the sound of my own horrified screaming. I’m sorry, but the idea of Lamar WhateverthefuckhislastnameisIdon’tgiveashit giving it to a giant slutty golem is the single most terrifying thing I’ve ever heard. If you guys will excuse me, I have to go stare into the black hole that my life used to be until Khloé Kardashian started talking about her sex lif-OH GOD I JUST PUKED ALL OVER MYSELF.

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.