Kim Kardashian has it so hard!

Kim Kardashian

In a move that I’m sure doesn’t coincide at all with the finale of her latest TV show, Kim Kardashian has decided to play the victim card, as Life & Style tunes the world’s tiniest violin in order to show just how hard it is for her to make millions of dollars by doing nothing at all. Yes, I’m sure the world feels super bad for her, what with the whole faking a marriage in order to swindle the people out of millions. How so very hard it is for her.

“She stays home all the time. It’s like she’s afraid to be in public,” an insider tells Life & Style. In addition to the backlash from fans and viewers, she’s taking a hit from lost business deals: Mattel issued a statement that a Kardashian Barbie line would not be manufactured at this time and Shoe Dazzle, the online styling service she co-founded, announced it was closing its U.K. site. She could be losing millions — and her ex Kris continues to lash out, alleging to pals that Kim even planned his proposal. Even stepfather Bruce admits it’s been a rough time for the two-time divorcee. “It’s tough for a woman at 30 — not married, no kids,” Bruce confides to Life & Style. “Kim’s an idealist.”

To be honest, I might have actually felt bad for her if it weren’t for one tiny little thing here: she brought this on herself. What the hell did she think was going to happen after she staged an entire marriage for the sake of a TV show and then did everything in her power to monopolize every last media outlet available? Sorry bitch, but you can’t fake love just because you want money and fame, and playing the victim card because you got called out on it while comparing yourself to other thirty-year-old unmarried, childless women who legitimately want to start a life with someone else out of love, rather than whore dollars, will not net you sympathy points.

Kim Kardashian

About JEREMY FEIST 4970 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.