Kim Kardashian has a rash. Nooooooo, really?

Kim Kardashian

I’m gonna level with you here: all anyone can talk about right now is that Rupert Murdoch decided it would be a great idea to hack the cell phones of 9/11 victims and murdered little girls, so needless to say, I’ve scraped right through the bottom of the barrel and have resorted to scraping the dirt underneath the barrel. Case in point Kim Kardashian has revealed she has a rash. The surprising thing: it’s not related to syphilis.

“I’d heard of [psoriasis] before because my mom has always had it, but she didn’t have red flaky dots all over her,” said Kim to Life & Style magazine. “People don’t understand the pressure on me to look perfect,” said Kim. “When I gain a pound, it’s in the headlines, so imagine what the tabloids will do to me when they see all these spots.” SOURCE

Well, if they’re anything like me, they’ll just assume you let a random rawdog you like a moron because let’s face it, if you’re gonna use a sex tape as your way to clear your path to fame, chances are you’re probably kind of a slut. Not that there’s anything wrong with that as long as you wear a condom, but something tells me that contraceptives confuse the poor girl. “Wait wait wait … I know you put these condominiums on your penis, but how does the pee get out? I have to fix this. *Pokes holes in all the condoms*

Kim Kardashian

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.