Oh joy, Kim Kardashian might be pregnant!

Kim Kardashian

I’m guessing after yesterday’s news that Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries realized they made a huuuuuuuge mistake by getting married to each other, they’ve decided that they’re going to do what any good couple does when they no longer feel anything for each other and need someway to keep the magic alive (or at the very least, postpone its death): they might be having a baby! Either that or Kim is just getting fat. OK! Magazine and its completely unnecessary exclamation mark reports:

Kim Kardashian has a lot going on: She’s newly married to Kris Humphries and still figuring out how to be a Mrs.; she’s adjusting to a new town after moving to NYC; and now, there may be another big change. “Kim said she’s late,” a pal tells OK!. “She was supposed to get her period and didn’t.” OK! has the scoop in this week’s new issue, on sale everywhere Thursday! It’s a welcome development for the star. “Kim always thought she’d have several kids by age 30, so in her mind she’s behind schedule.” says an insider. In fact, says the source, Kim is doing tons of stuff that makes those around her wonder if she already has a secret. “Kim’s been going through all the K names,” says the insider. “She even has a baby-name book and looks up the meaning of each one.”

I know that yesterday I said it was unfair to speculate as to whether or not Jessica Simpson was pregnant because in a lot of ways they usually make it into a jab about her weight. But the difference here is that Kim is awful, so by all means, speculate away, see if I care. Although this might be bad because if Kim is preggers, then that means her sisters are too, which means we can look forward to some three-headed Cerberus of demon-slut. God help us all.

Kim Kardashian

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.