Kim Kardashian sluts it up for useless shoes!

Kim Kardashian

Now that we have the actual game out of the way, let’s move on to the things that really matter: Commercials! Wee! Continuing her tradition of selling anything for the sake of money and a few seconds of your precious, precious attention, Kim Kardashian ended up shilling for Skechers Shape-Ups the only way she knows how: By using as much sex appeal as she can pull out of her ass dimples.

The ad in a nutshell: Kim writhes around on the floor and makes a bunch of double-entendres that can be misconstrued as sex, then says she’s ditching her personal trainer because she bought spiffy new Shape-ups! You know, the shoe that says it tones your ass but has actually been proven to be no more beneficial than literally any other pair of running shoes on the market? Yeah, those. She traded in a personal trainer for fake shoes. Of course, in real life I don’t she’s ever actually been in a gym, mostly because the idea of doing actual, physical work instead of just selling things is some sort of foreign concept to her, like men pissing in toilets. Ha ha! Pee doesn’t go in there!

Kim Kardashian

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.