Kourtney Kardashian is an actress now. Sure, why not?

Kourtney Kardashian

Continuing the Kardashian’s long, storied history of acting (did anyone see Kim Kardashian in Disaster Movie? *MWAH!* Genius!) someone decided to give Kourtney Kardashian a part on One Life To Live, because apparently there’s a huge cross-section between people who like soap operas and people who like watching whores be awful.

In the above clip, she practices her lines with sis Kim and beau Scott Disick before meeting the rest of the cast. “It’s like I’m watching Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise,” Disick jokes as the girls recite Kourtney’s scenes.

“I literally thought I would have two lines and my script is so long,” Kourtney, 31, admits. “I have to kiss a guy, but I’m not an actress. I just don’t feel like kissing some random guy. This is definitely a lot more than I thought I was agreeing to. SOURCE

You know what I like best about Paris Hilton? There’s only one of her. Seriously, she may be an awful, soul-sucking harpy bitch of a human being, but at least we can all rest easy knowing that there’s only one, single Paris out there instead of, oh, I don’t know, three. Unlike that Kardashian sisters, who I honestly believe would sprout out two more sisters if one of them were felled. Kind of like the Hyrdra from Greek mythology, only I’d feel safer with the giant, multi-headed monster than I would with our trio of wookie whores.

Kourtney Kardashian

About JEREMY FEIST 4832 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.