Lindsay Lohan is not cutting again!

Lindsay Lohan

So a couple days ago, Lindsay Lohan was photographed with a red mark on her arm and Perez Hilton, never one to turn down a complete red herring when it can be milked for all the non-story it’s worth, jumped on it and proclaimed from the rooftops that LiLo was cutting again. Well, now Lindsay is going on the defensive by saying that no, she’s not cutting, and she totally has her career back on track. I only believe one of those things. Via the Toronto Sun:

Photos of Lohan sporting marks on her arm sent gossips into a frenzy earlier this week, and the actress has been left hurt and angered by allegations she has started cutting herself. Calling the stories “ridiculous”, the Mean Girls star has asked her representative to fight the claims. He says, “That report is untrue, completely fabricated to fill a slow news day, and quite possibly libelous … the only thing Lindsay is cutting is deals.”

All right, so I believe Lindsay when she says she’s not cutting because having seen the lines, they don’t really look like cuts. At all. That being said, maybe she should go with a defense that’s a little stronger than “look how good I’m doing!” Actually, if I may, let me write a more believable tagline here:

The only thing Lindsay is cutting is deals cocaine. Lots and lots of cocaine.

FTFY.

Lindsay Lohan

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.