Lindsay Lohan put herself under house arrest

Lindsay Lohan

Like the rest of us, Lindsay Lohan knows that she still has just two more weeks to go before her probation ends and she can go back to … whatever it is LiLo does, I guess? Beats the hell outta me. Anyway, Lindsay also knows that there’s no way in hell she’ll be able to go another two weeks without effing up, so Lindsay has decided to put herself under house arrest. Because her last house arrest totally didn’t end with her getting drunk and throwing massive parties in her place, right? Right. TMZ reports:

According to our sources, the latest incident prompted people close to Lindsay to beg her to stop going out at night until her probation is over. We’re told Lindsay agreed and will now only leave her house when she really has to … like for her court ordered community service at the morgue.

Although don’t get it twisted: Lindsay can still make herself look like an idiot from the comfort of her own home, as shown by her continuing lawsuit against Pitbull, who she thinks damaged her irreparably by referencing her in a song. TMZ reports again:

In legal docs filed this week in New York, Pitbull responded to the suit and pointed out that he rapped about Seacrest in the same song — and noted Ryan not only didn’t sue, but Pitbull performed the song as part of a New Year’s Eve show … hosted by Seacrest! Translation — Seacrest has a sense of humor, Lindsay does not. Pitbull also cited the lesser known First Amendement in his bid to get the case dismissed.

Yes, the damage is irreparable, until you remember the following three things:

  1. Not a single person heard that song and went “Yeah, that Lindsay Lohan sure is in jail a lot! Let’s never hire her again!”
  2. Ryan Seacrest, one of the most humorless people ever, couldn’t even get his frosted tips in a twist over the song.
  3. Lindsay Lohan is an idiot. I’m sorry, but she is.

Lindsay Lohan

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.