Michael Lohan found another opportunity to talk!

Michael Lohan

Yesterday, porn star Voodoo told a radio station that Lindsay Lohan paid him to nail her while her dad was asleep upstairs. Michael Lohan, true to his nature, heard his name being mentioned, realized their was money and attention to be squeezed out of this, so here he is letting RadarOnline know that he’s a great father and that he wants to kick Voodoo in the mangina until he dies.

“This delusional moron wishes he had a nanosecond alone with Lindsay!” Lohan charged. “If I ever caught a guy having sex with my daughter in my house I’d be in jail the rest of my life, especially a dirtball porn star. I’m a light sleeper. I would never be asleep while my kids were in the house and awake. Another worm crawling out of the woodwork trying to get some publicity. But this time, it’s a person that doesn’t even have respect for himself, never mind Lindsay or anyone else. To begin with, not at ANY time that I was with my family or Lindsay at our home, or anywhere, did I go to sleep before my children did. Or allow any man/male and especially a sleazebag, alone with Lindsay. Can you imagine ME, Michael Lohan, of all fathers, allowing my daughter(s) to be alone with any guy while I was present? Ha ha! And if, by chance, a dirtball like Voodoo, snuck in, he wouldn’t have made it out. Last but not least, Lindsay would NEVER stoop to the level of this neophyte. (The lowest form of living organism on earth). Sad, very sad. I pity him.”

Mind you, this is the same guy who tried to escape the police by jumping into a tree and faking a heart attack, which means that Michael is a very special mix of delusional and shameless that allows him to do just about anything. So don’t be surprised if he actually does try to murder him, only to evade the police by throwing himself into a bush and then pretending that he’s having a stroke.

Michael Lohan

About JEREMY FEIST 4970 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.