Paris Hilton and Cy Waits’ attacker is going to jail!

Paris Hilton and Cy Waits

Despite cementing his status as an American hero by attacking Paris Hilton and her stupid boyfriend, Cy Waits, the man who attacked them, James Rainford, has been sentenced to 227 days in jail for misdemeanor battery. On the plus side, this is Los Angeles so chances are he’ll probably only spend a couple hours in there before – oh wait, I just remembered, he’s not Lindsay Lohan. Never mind.

Earlier today, James Rainford pled no contest to misdemeanor battery for allegedly smacking Cy Waits in the back of the head as the couple walked into the Van Nuys Courthouse. Rainford was already on probation stemming from an incident at Hilton’s pad last year — and today, the judge threw the book at him.In addition to the jail time, Rainford was sentenced to three years informal probation and ordered to stay away from Waits once he’s released. SOURCE

So here’s what confuses me: Lindsay can get into a cocaine-fueled car chase, take three people hostage in said car, hit a baby with ANOTHER car, punched a rehab worker after getting drunk, then stole a necklace, and she pretty much got fuck and all for it. Meanwhile, someone attacks the two people in America who most deserve to be punched to death, and he gets thrown in jail for 227 days. I’m calling bullshit on this one.

Paris Hilton and Cy Waits

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.