Paris Hilton is an awesome neighbor!

Paris Hilton

Do you remember famewhore Paris Hilton? She used to be famous – Oh, wait, scratch that. She used to think she was famous and society sort of just went along with it because we are nothing if not generous to delusional whores (See: Kardashian, any of them). Anyway, it seems that instead of moving back to Obscurityville, CA, she shacked up in a gated community, where everyone is treating her the way we used to: with thinly veiled disdain for her and her sluttery. RadarOnline reports:

“Paris’ parties are legendary. She always goes all out. Non-invited guests that were going to visit other people’s houses had to wait almost 35 minutes in line on a Wednesday night, just to get into to see the person they were going to visit. Paris does provide valet parking for party guests, and this clogs the streets around her house. Paris is the neighbor from hell,” an insider tells RadarOnline. “Paris had proven to be at that point, very disrespectful to her neighbors, with the loud parties, and constant stream of people coming and going from her house, and let’s not forget the criminal element that has besieged Paris since she moved in. Her house was burglarized multiple times, she had a knife wielding stalker that tried to break into her house.”

It should be noted that Paris Hilton’s neighbors include Slash, Denise Richards, and Charlie Sheen. And guess what? EVERYONE LIKES THEM BETTER. You know you’re a loud, slutty, coked-up mess when people can look at the guy who once tried to build his own fortress of solitude out of crystal meth and bronzed hookers and said “Yeah, that guy is a way better neighbor than Paris, the shrieking slut beast who used to be famous but isn’t anymore.”

Paris Hilton

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.