Paris Hilton is still sad about her infamous sex tape!

Paris Hilton

You’d figure seven years down the line, Paris Hilton would have probably gotten over the fact she had to release a sex tape just to make people forget she’s a contemptible, talentless wench long enough to make her famous, right? But HAHA! You completely misunderstand how these things work. Now that Paris has another reality show (I’m assuming because scripts make the mushy-mush in her head feel owey) she’s back to talking about how that sex tape she purposely leaked and signed for was a total accident that ruined her life.

“When I was a little girl I looked up to these people like Princess Diana and these women and I think and he took that away from me. This is not what I planned, I didn’t want to be known as that,” she said emotionally. “Now when people look at me they think I’m something I’m not just because of one incident one night with someone I was in love with. People assume, ‘Oh she’s a slut,’ just because of one thing that happened to me. It’s hard because I’ll never…I’ll have to live with that for the rest of my life and explain it to my children, it’s something that has changed my life forever and I’ll never be able to erase it.” SOURCE

Hey, you know what would have made that whole sex tape thing just up and disappear? Not signing the release form and then subsequently providing two valid pieces of government issued ID necessary to release a sex tape onto the market with your express, legal consent. But clearly, it’s a little too late for that now, so by all means, keep pretending that sex tape isn’t the one and only aspect of your career that can even come close to be considered a contribution to society. Specifically, a society that likes tiny, pancake titties and boring sex.

Paris Hilton

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.