Real Housewives of Atlanta: Reunion / Part 1

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Tensions were higher than usual tonight on The Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion, which says a lot when you look at this season … literally if I had been host Andy Cohen I would have been trying to give paper cuts to the air with those cue cards. I have to relay a message before I get started though, the 1980s called, ladies: they want their perms and wigs back!

One thing quickly became obvious as the reunion got started, Nene Leakes’ liposuction is nowhere to be seen (which sounds like it should be a good thing, right?). The attention then went swiftly to Kim Zolciak and her pregnancy, apparently she had gone to a psychic in season two, and the psychic had predicted her new relationship and the baby and everything! Wow! But she left out one thing, avoid Nene like the plague. Also, she quit smoking gradually over five weeks after finding out she was pregnant, just a tip, my mom didn’t quit smoking when she was pregnant with me, and I turned out perfect. Like literally, perfect. Don’t judge.

The focus then turned to Sheree Whitfield and her acting aspirations, which unfortunately, she still has and apparently she still feels an Oscar is not unrealistic … right Sheree, and I’m straight. Another announcement just in! The Mouseketeer of The Year Award goes to Cynthia Bailey! Yet again, meek and mousy Cynthia kept her opinions under lock and key and faded to the background, except in defense of her ass. She challenged the other housewives to walk down a runway and look as good as her at her age in a bathing suit (I felt like a proud mama at this point!). While the subject was still turned to asses Phaedra Parks was questioned about her poignant views on the subject … according to her there is not only a donkey booty, but also a Spongebob booty. Seriously? I’ve never seen an ass with perfect 90 degree angles.

To be honest though, Phaedra made the show. (Of course towards the end of the show Kim and Nene argued for the millionth time) but the really JUICY discussion happened between Phaedra and Nene. They had a heated argument (would it be considered an argument?) over not only Nene’s age (which Phaedra had a REALLY hard time believing was 43) but also Nene was quite adament about having no prior knowledge of Phaedra before the show … I swear Phaedra narrowed her eyes so tight at this point that i don’t even have a metaphor to describe it!

Other highlights include Nene claiming her nose is natural … Kim has new tits … Kim invented a new catchphrase “Cake it!” (is this an answer to Maggie Griffin’s “Tip It?”) And no, Nene didn’t make the move to Los Angeles as claimed she would in the season finale. Catch Part Two of the reunion next Sunday at 10PM – only on Bravo.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta