If you’ve ever accidentally gotten yourself in trouble on Twitter, consider this a freebie: According to Page Six, Rihanna might have kind of sort of accidentally had a bar in Thailand shutdown after she tweeted about a stupidly over the top sex show that was happening inside. All of a sudden, every stupid thing you’ve ever done on Twitter doesn’t seem so bad now, does it? You’re welcome.
“Authorities found out about this bar the morning after Rihanna tweeted about it, but we were not able to catch them violating the law until Saturday night,” said local district chief Weera Kerdsirimongkon. “We had been waiting for them and finally caught them red handed.” Rihanna, who was vacationing in Thailand in between stops on her Diamonds World Tour, tweeted about the over-the-top show in detail on Sept. 20. “Either I was ph- -k wasted lastnight, or I saw a Thai woman pull a livebird,2 turtles,razors,shoot darts and ping pong, all out of her p- - -y,” she wrote, adding that she saw the woman “turn water into coke.”
It also reports that Rihanna had a couple of guys arrested after Instagramming a picture of herself with a slow loris they owned, as it turns out owning possessing one of those for the sake of money is kind of super illegal. So just assume that Rihanna is some sort of globe-trotting undercover secret agent who travels the world, using her Twitter feed to give the Feds updates on who’s currently breaking the law. “Yo, I just saw a guy hack an ATM. Crazy dope #CaucasianMaleBrownHair #HeadingNorthOnBloor #ArmedAndDeadly #Yolo”