R.I.P.: That guy who back-scooped Heidi Montag

So Dr. Frank Ryan, that plastic surgeon who decided to perform ten different surgeries on mentally imbalanced and not at all intelligent rich bitch Heidi Montag, died yesterday in a car accident in Malibu. Sadly, he would have survived had he not removed his airbags in order to give Heidi the breasts she has today … too soon? Here’s big boobs’ statement:

“I am devastated to hear the news of Dr. Frank Ryan’s death,” she wrote on Twitter. “He was the most amazing person I have ever known. He was an angel and changed my life and the lives of everyone he met. He was the most brilliant talented surgeon who will ever exist. Dr. Frank Ryan changed the world.”

“My thoughts and prayers go out to his mother, family, friends, and anyone who was ever blessed enough to meet him,” she concluded. “He is in a better place.” SOURCE

I’m sorry, he changed the world? Really? I guess you could say that by jamming enough silicone into Heidi’s tits until their gravitational pull changed the Earth’s rotation, he changed the world, but that’s about it really. Somewhere, up in heaven, Dr. Frank Ryan is back-scooping angels now.

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.