Sara Leal: My affair with Ashton Kutcher

Sara Leal - Us Weekly

You all knew this was coming right? Random chick (played by Sara Leal) bangs douchey male celebrity (Ashton Kutcher) and sells the story to a tabloid (Us Weekly)? It’s a very circle of life sorta deal. Anyway, Sara’s latest dig into that sweet, sweet pile of Gold known as celebrity mistressdom has landed her a cover story with Us Weekly, wherein she talks about how she banged Ashton on his anniversary and how it was so sweet and romantic and not how he lied to her to get her in bed all the while cheating on his wife. Nope, that part must have been cut from print.

After retreating to Kutcher’s bedroom past 6 a.m., “he lost his towel and I took my robe off,” Leal says. “Then we had sex.”

“He was good,” Leal reveals. “It wasn’t weird or perverted.” It also wasn’t 100 percent safe, either: Leal tells Us that Kutcher did not wear a condom during their one-on-one encounter.

The post-coital talk was a little unexpected, she confesses; the duo talked astrology (they’re both Aquarius), religion, love, even politics. “I told him I was a Lutheran from Texas. He said, ‘Oh my gosh! Are you a Republican?'” Leal says.

Democratic-leaning Kutcher quizzed her on “up-and-coming candidates. I said Rick Perry. He asked if I’d vote for him. I said I didn’t know and he laughed. He laughed at pretty much everything I said.”

But it wasn’t all twenty questions between the lovers, according to Leal. After having sex for a second time — and arguing over Leal’s cell phone — the married Two and a Half Men star was tender.

“He was like, ‘I enjoy things like this because I’m an actor 90 percent of the time nd it’s fake. It’s nice to have moments that are real,'” Leal recalls.

Let’s see here … at no point does she look around and say “oh shit, that asshole lied to me and because of our affair he might be getting a divorce, and while it is primarily his fault, I do need to take some responsibility for enabling the dissolution of his marriage.” Not, it’s “it was so sweet and romantic the way he screwed my brains out.” I’m not saying it’s her fault (it’s Ashton’s) but come on; if your face was plastered all over magazines as a celebrity mistress, you’d figure you’d have at least a tiny bit of guilt in the matter. Oh, wait, that’s right: Gold diggers can’t feel things. I forgot about that part! *Face palm* Doy!

Sara Leal - Us Weekly

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.