Selena Gomez made Justin Bieber cry?

Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber

Because Selena Gomez has no fear of death — that or she used all that Disney Channel money she had saved up to build a Belieber-proof, gator filled moat around her home. — Selena went on David Letterman‘s show last night, where she joked about making her ex-boyfriend Justin Bieber cry. If there was ever a person more likely to be murdered by unhinged teenagers disconnected from reality, I have not met them. Access Hollywood reports …

The young star stopped by the Late Show with David Letterman on Monday, where she joked about bringing Justin to tears. “Last time you were here, you were with a Justin Bieber,” David Letterman told Selena, 20. “That’s not going on now.”

“No, I’m single. I’m so good,” she said with a smile, as the crowd applauded. “Now, the last time he was on, he and I got into a conversation and he said something and I said something, and then he said something and I said something, and I made him cry,” the late night host quipped. “Well, that makes two of us!” Selena said with a laugh.

Selena then put on a bullseye shirt before telling everyone that Justin is bad in bed. “I’m immortal now,” she presumably said, crushing a diamond in her bare hands. “I no longer fear death, for you cannot fear yourself. I am time and space. I am infinity. No one can kill me.” At least I’m guessing she said that, because if not, oh boy. There are some emotionally maladjusted tweens who have her number.

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Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.