Please let this be a bad MST3K episode!

It’s a slow news day, okay? That’s the only reason I’m posting this trailer to Flesh-Coloured Pedo-Beard‘s fake movie. At least I hope it’s fake. God do I ever hope this is fake. Last time I saw a movie this bad, Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot were sitting in the front row riffing on it. Go stick your dick in a shark’s mouth, Beardy!

To be honest, I’m not really sure what it’s about; I had to turn it on mute before I tore my own ears off. Anyway, from what I saw, there’s a lot of fat shirtless guys on a beach, some failed actresses dance around in bikinis, and Pedo-Beard’s big doughy face keeps popping up for some reason. Please God, let this all be another elaborate hoax. Or, you know, if Beardy is really set on bad movies, we can always just bash him over the head and send him into space (Sha-la-la!). We already know he’s okay with hanging out with things made of old, plastic parts; he fake-married Heidi Montag, didn’t he?

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.