I know, I know: The MTV VMAs stopped being relevant sometime during the late-90’s and at this point only serve as a stage for celebrities to behave like complete jag-offs, but whatever, that’s all anybody is talking about this morning, so here’s a list of the “winners”, a term I use about as loosely as Paula Abdul uses Quaaludes.
Video of the Year: Katy Perry’s “Fireworks”
Best Female Video: Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way”
Best New Artist: Tyler The Creator’s “Yonkers”
Best Male Video: Justin Bieber’s “U Smile”
Best Collaboration: Katy Perry and Kanye West’s “E.T.”
Best Hip-Hop Video: Nicki Minaj’s “Super Bass”
Best Rock Video: Foo Fighters’ “Rock”
Best Pop Video: Britney Spears’ “Till The World Ends”
Best Video With A Message: Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way”
Best Art Direction: Adele’s “Rolling In The Deep”
Best Choreography: Beyoncé’s “Run The World (Girls)”
Best Cinematography: Adele’s “Rolling In The Deep”
Best Direction: The Beastie Boys’ “Make Some Noise”
Best Editing: Adele’s “Rolling In The Deep”
Best Special Effects: Katy Perry and Kanye West’s “E.T.”
Hey, remember how when the nominations were first announced and Lady Gaga reportedly got shut out and everyone got all pissy because we weren’t just blindly throwing awards at her? Well, she won anyway. Actually, she was the biggest winner after Katy Perry and Adele, but by all means Little Monsters, keep tweeting about how Adele is “fat”. You know, because you can hear someone’s outward appearance when they sing, right?