Tila Tequila legally declared a filthy whore!

First, let me start off by saying: BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You stupid whore. Alright, now that I got that out of the way, let’s continue. Anyway, That Tequila Bitch tried to get an injunction to stop the ‘leak’ of her ‘sex tape’, because people can just randomly unleash your sex tape onto the internet without your express permission now. Except ha ha! The judge pretty much called her a lying little fug-ass troll whore and told her to shut it.

Tila’s lawyer, Alan Gutman, just asked an L.A. County Superior Court judge for an injunction, prohibiting the release of one of her sex tapes. Gutman argued the tape — shot more than 7 years ago during a trip with her boyfriend — was an invasion of privacy and a misappropriation of her image. But the judge scoffed, saying privacy, schmivacy: “Tila exploits her sexuality.” In the end, the judge said Tila’s lawyer hadn’t made enough of a case to warrant a restraining order.



UPDATE: Tila tells TMZ, “This doesn’t mean that the battle is over. I can still take this to federal court.” SOURCE

Federal court?! HA HA HA no, no you’re not. You see, federal court is for people with actual legal issues, instead of bargain bin Saigon Slut inflatable fuck dolls with unwarranted sense of self-importance. Also, being in court would require you to actually tell the truth, which is something the syphilis-stricken lump you call a brain is completely incapable of doing.

Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Tila Tequila: … What is truth? *deflates*

Defense Attorney: We rest our case, your honor.

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.