In case you forgot what made Kim famous …

Kim Kardashian and Kris Jenner

The Hollywood Reporter did a expose on Kris Jenner, the pimp matriarch of the Kardashian family responsible for whoring out her daughters to whatever and whoever will write them a check. And of course, the subject of Kim Kardashian‘s sex tape came up, which gave her plenty of bullshit to shovel.

Claiming to have never seen the tape, Kris hired a crisis communications expert to help navigate the scandal. “I was way out of my league,” she says. “I would never think I knew enough to care for a situation like that. What’s that Kenny Rogers line? ‘You got to know when to hold ’em and know when to fold ’em.’ All I knew was that I had to make some lemonade out of these lemons fast. Real fast.” SOURCE

Oh please, like this wasn’t entirely set up for the sole purpose of getting Kim in the spotlight so she could – Wait, did Kris just use the word ‘lemonade’ to describe Kim’s piss-soaked sex tape? Oh, that is fucking RICH. Rich I say! That is like some sort of warm, liquid gold, raining down from the heavens onto our bare skin. MORE PEE JOKES! Holy shit, they’re gonna put that on her tombstone.

Kim Kardashian and Kris Jenner

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.