Will Dina Lohan be on ‘Dancing (and drinking) With the Stars’?

Dina Lohan

So apparently, Dancing with the Stars couldn’t get Lindsay Lohan onto their next season despite the fact that she’s so hard-up for work that she’ll do commercials for penny auctions while under house arrest. But no matter! When God closes a door, he opens a window so that a drunken Lohan can puke out of it, so now they’re trying to court Dina Lohan into appearing on the show.

Dina Lohan says she’s in talks to appear on Dancing With the Stars. On Sunday, Lindsay Lohan’s mom was overheard talking about her plans to appear on the ABC show as she celebrated her daughter’s birthday at a private house in Water Mill dubbed the Ciroc Cabana Club. Lindsay had been expected to join, but she stayed in LA to remain low-key after completing her house arrest. SOURCE

Wait, really? You want Dina to be on Dancing With the Stars? Nuh-uh. Not only is she not a star in any way, shape or form (unless of course you think drinking through your pregnancy, then forcing the subsequently pickled fetus into stardom so that you can live vicariously through them counts towards celebrity), but the bitch can barely walk a straight line on the I-95, and you expect her to pull off a foxtrot without falling over into a puddle of her own vomit while screaming about how Fudgy the Whale fucked her? Not gonna happen.

Dina Lohan

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.