All aboard Michael Lohan’s fail boat!

Michael Lohan

What’s worse than Michael Lohan opening his own rehab facility? Michael Lohan opening his own rehab facility on a fucking yacht, that’s what. Somewhere, deep in drug-addled, famewhoring recesses of Mesh Shirt’s mind, he somehow plucked the idea that he’s completely fit to run a rehab facility despite the fact that he sired a daughter whose heart pumps sangria and personally has the sense of moderation of a hungry pitbull left alone in a butcher shop. OH! And before I forget, this is all going to be a reality TV show. So basically, someone is going to end up dead.

Lohan was out at sea off the coast of Florida last week, launching a rehab facility that is housed aboard a 130-foot, three-level yacht. There were about two dozen people aboard the boat — rehabers and rehabees combined. But if it’s Michael Lohan we’re talking about, then there will be cameras involved. We’re told there was a camera crew on board, filming the whole thing for a possible reality show. SOURCE

Fantastic idea: Take an assload of addicts, put them on a secluded yacht with Michael Lohan where the only escape is death or swimming through shark-infested waters … which is basically also death. So really there is no way off this ship other than to be devoured by a blood-thirsty behemoth who knows only hunger, or a great white shark. I have to be honest with you, neither of those options sounds great to me.

Michael Lohan

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.