Bruno Mars got a plea deal for cocaine!

Bruno Mars

Oh look, someone other than Lindsay Lohan or Charlie Sheen getting busted for cocaine. How quaint. Anyway, Bruno Mars, the most annoyingly vanilla man on the radio, got a plea deal for a cocaine bust from last year, which means he won’t have to do jail time. This is what lawyers refer to as ‘The Lohan Defense’.

As TMZ first reported, Mars and the Clark County D.A. struck a deal in which Mars would plead guilty to possession of a controlled substance, but the charge will be expunged from his record if he stays out of trouble for the next 12 months. Mars was in court today with his lawyers, Blair Berk and David Chesnoff, when his plea deal was put on record. He’ll officially enter his plea in district court. He will then have to complete 200 hours of community service. It all becomes official on his next court date, February 14. SOURCE

There is of course a valid reason I beat Charlie and Lindsay upside the head for doing coke while letting this douchebag slide: He doesn’t have a vagina There were no hookers involved Because Bruno Mars is the most unfortunate looking man I’ve ever seen. I’m sorry but he looks like a Boston terrier. A Boston Terrier that makes whiney, bland pop songs and wear fedoras.

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.