Celebrity Rehab starts off with a bang!

Michaele Salahi and Bai Ling

Good news for everyone who enjoys seeing G-List Celebrities get helped with their addictions by a quack famewhore doctor: A new season of Dr. Drew’s Celebrity Rehab is almost here! Woo! And so far things are going just swimmingly, by which I mean one patient was kicked out for not having an addiction and another nearly jumped off the roof.

First off, White House party-crasher and Real Housewife of D.C. superskank Michaele Salahi was kicked off of the show when doctors realized she didn’t actually have an addiction and she was just trying to get on the show for a little more face time. Unfortunately for her, the DSM doesn’t consider “Being a stupid, worthless famewhore” an actual disease.

Sources on the set tell us Michaele was asked to leave because she has “no addiction,” and thus had “no reason to be there.” Over the weekend we got Tareq Salahi out in Los Angeles who told us that Michaele’s only addiction was “probably to chocolate.” SOURCE

Ha ha! Get it? It’s funny because she likes chocolate and is actively making a mockery of a process that could save people from serious, life-threatening diseases for the sake of publicity. Hee! Well, technically Celebrity Rehab is a mockery of actual rehab itself, so this may be more or less a lateral move.

Anyway, moving on: A 911 call was made for Bai Ling after she was found to have wandered onto the roof and doctors there were afraid she would jump.

Law enforcement sources tell us the call came in to Pasadena PD around 5:30PM … Bai LIng was on the roof and there was concern for her safety. Bai Ling is on the new season of “Celebrity Rehab” … which, coincidentally, is just starting to shoot. Before officers could respond … we’re told Bai came in from the roof — and since there were medical professionals there to handle the situation there was no need for the police. SOURCE

Well, I’m glad to see Dr. Drew is keeping everything together so far. You’d figure by now he’d be able to screen his patients to ensure they actually had problems that required rehab, or keep patients away from dangerous situations, but hey, you can’t win ’em all, right?

Michaele Salahi and Bai Ling

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.