Charlie Sheen hates all of you *thiiiiiiiis* much!

Charlie Sheen

Another day, another episode of the coke-fueled hooker-parade that is Charlie Sheen‘s existence. Today, Charlie is texting the media to let them know that they’re all a bunch of shits for talking about him devouring briefcases full of cocaine and trading pink Bentleys for sex with whores instead of talking about Egypt.

“Believe nothing. I will never speak about any of this as long as I’m alive. You’re all gonna have to keep towing the same redundant line, guessing wrong.” He’s obviously following the news, because Sheen suggested the focus on his situation was overblown. “BTW, two wars are in an endless state of sorrow. Egypt about burned to the ground, and all you people care about is my bullsh-t….?” Sheen called it “pathetic” that the media cared about his personal life and how he chooses to spend it. “Shame shame shame,” he said. SOURCE

Yes, you’re the one snorting enough cocaine to kill a herd of elephants, locking hookers in closets, and continuing your legacy of violence towards women, but clearly we’re the asshole because we can’t all be Anderson Cooper. That’s like shooting a kitten in the face then complaining when someone gets pissed about that instead of getting pissed about Darfur.

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.