The Drunken Mousketeer is on Twitter now!

Christina Aguilera

Taking a page from Charlie Sheen, Christina Aguilera has hopped on Twitter (@TheRealXtina), which is more or less the final refuge for drunk celebrities looking for an audience that won’t viciously mock them for being alcoholics and drug addicts since everyone else is either Tweeting about their own doodie or retweeting anything and everything people say about them in order to make themselves sound important. Seriously, we get it, you love yourself. Shut the fucking fuck up!

The singer, 30, joined the microblogging site on Tuesday in honor of her new coaching gig on The Voice, NBC’s singing competition show. What did the Burlesque star — in the news lately for her drunken post-divorce behavior — have to say? “Here goes my first Tweet! Brace yourselves… So excited to connect with all my fans here. xo – Xtina,” she wrote late Tuesday. “Thanks for the welcome to Twitter,” she added an hour later. “I’m getting the hang of this. Never thought I’d say the word ‘hashtag.’ Pandora’s box has been opened. SOURCE

Meh, honestly, as much as I make fun of her, I actually kind of do like Xtina. Although that may have something to do with my love for chunky, talented crazy people who also enjoy drinking themselves to the point of peeing themselves. I look forward to Christina inevitably getting tits-up drunk and slurring something derogatory at Lady Gaga. Seriously, it’s going to fucking happen eventually, and when it does, it will be super gay and magical.

Christina Aguilera

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.