Courtney Stodden goes Ho Ho Ho for Xmas!

Look, it’s not often that we feel the need to preface one of our posts with an actual warning, but this is probably the single most disturbing thing I’ve ever posted in my two-and-a-half year career of gossip blogging. Still here? Well, Courtney Stodden decided to ring in the holiday season by dressing up in the skimpiest lingerie available and presenting herself to Santa Claus (hubby Doug Hutchison) the way a baboon in heat might present herself. What follows is nothing short the slow, deliberate murder of Christmas at the hands of the government-produced atomic slut bomb Courtney is. TMZ reports:

Shameless underage famewhore Courtney Stodden couldn’t leave well enough alone this weekend — stripping down to a sacrilegiously tiny bikini in 30-degree weather … and single-handedly destroying our Christmas spirit. We can’t decide if this makes it more or less creepy, but the guy in the Santa suit is Courtney’s 51-year-old husband Doug Hutchison — and Saturday, the barely legal couple abandoned whatever shred of dignity they had left … and exchanged dirty talk in the snow just north of L.A.

I don’t really have much to say about this, because Jesus Christ, my eyes (see more pictures here, if you can stomach it). So instead I’ll just fill in the space here with jokes about how Courtney Stodden is a filthy whore. Courtney Stodden is such a filthy whore, even her crabs of syphilis. Courtney Stodden has had more disease-ridden cock inside of her than a KFC. Courtney Stodden doesn’t know what castration is, but her vagina has performed 246 of them. Courtney Stodden has been finished on so many times, she glows under black light. If you laid every person Courtney Stodden has ever banged end-to-end, you’d be arrested for creating a 25 mile long corpse chain!

Courtney Stodden

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.