Five Things Wrong: Christina Hendricks In Playboy!

I have to admit, when I heard the words “Christina Hendricks in Playboy“, I was… I was expecting something a little more. Apparently the picture was from over ten years ago, and if this doesn’t prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Playboy is just fucking awful, the image of the usually gorgeous Hendricks turned into some blond slutbot should do it for you. What’s wrong with it? Let’s take a look.

#1: FUCKING. CLOWNS. These things should be illegal, I think we can all agree on that. And apparently, this one decided to wear a wig made entirely out of Star Jones‘ pubes.

#2: Why is this Slim Jim wearing a speedo? That is one sexy, sexy piece of beef jerky. Seriously, he looks like what would happen if you marinated Jason Adonis in soy sauce.

#3: And now for the girls… Adorable! Three Little Maids from school are we… From the deepest, most perverse region of Hugh Hefner‘s mind. Man, that guy ruins everything.

#4: Look, I appreciate the fact that Christina is a naturally pale woman, but… No. Just no. This borders on albino. Which would actually explain a lot about Hef’s stable of whores.

#5: No surprise, they’re all wearing blond wigs. Man, Hugh Hefner is going to be popping a huuuuuuge boner just as soon as he takes his Viagra, Cialis and Triple Mix.

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.