Gwyneth and Chris’ ‘conscious uncoupling’ is going well?

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin

Ever since Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin split up — None of that ‘conscious uncoupling’ crap. You guys had a good run, but you just couldn’t make it work. You split up. That’s it. — they’ve been trying as hard as they can to play nice for the media and not turn this thing into a big media circus. So here comes RadarOnline to say that things are starting to get ugly behind the scenes, and that their “conscious uncoupling” has now upgraded to “bitches gonna cut a bitch” …

“Chris now believes that Gwyneth is leaking rumors about his alleged trysts in an effort to sully his image and make him look less sympathetic,” the source told Radar. “Gwyn is so angry that she’s threatening to turn the divorce ugly, saying she’s going to squeeze spousal support out of Chris, despite her multi-million dollar fortune.” Together, Paltrow and Martin are worth a mind-blowing $280 million — but the source says the GOOP founder could take Martin for an extra $25 million!

Which is all to say that you can call a break-up whatever you want, but these things still tend to get ugly at times. And that’s perfectly natural and fine. You and someone you have powerful emotions for are going through a major, hectic change. You’d have to be inhuman to feel absolutely nothing or handle every last turn with nothing but the utmost dignity. You’re allowed to go a little bit nuts, as long as you don’t turn it into emotional warfare. Drink an entire bottle of wine while watching The Devil Wears Prada! Yell at random empty cars! Tell a policeman’s horse that it looks like a cheap Irish hooker and challenge it to a fist-fight! (That last one only works if the police ride horses in your area.)

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.