Heaven help us all: Speidi is still together!

Good news for those of you who like morally bankrupt, reprehensible famewhores: Speidi might be getting back together! I mean, technically they were never broken up to begin with, because the fake divorce they got for their fake marriage was fakedy fake fake fake, but still, Flesh-Coloured Pedo-Beard is working hard to win back Heidi Montag the only way he knows how: with a press release.

In an email to the Associated Press, Spencer Pratt, 27, says his behavior in the wake of their alleged breakup — including his threat to release a sex tape — was “outrageous and infantile.” Pratt confessed that he made “certain private issues public” and “horribly embarrass[ed] the one person who meant the world to me.” He added that he wants to work on himself, and handle the split with dignity. SOURCE

And that’s why you should never get fake married for attention. And then get fake divorced. And you should also never perform a live jack-off show in a tuxedo you say you got married in, I mean holy crap what is wrong with yo- Oh, sorry, started talking about someone else there. Never mind.

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.