How … ummm, romantic?

It’s only been about two weeks since they were first seen together, but it looks like Snooki‘s new boyfriend, Jeff Miranda, has already proposed … on the cover of Steppin’ Out magazine … shirtless! Ummm, woohoo? Now, I’m not saying that it’s because he thinks she’s a leprechaun and that sticking your penis in one of those things will earn you a pot o’ gold, but – oh, wait, yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying!

“I want us to be together forever,” Jeff reportedly tells the magazine. “I could see us having children. I want to pop the question to her. If we got married we would be the best parents around. She’s so loving and puts everyone else before her self. She’ll be a great mother.”

[…] “I will never break her heart,” he says. “She’s such a great girl. If people could see us together they would think we’re a match made in heaven. People think I’m using her for fame. But that’s bullsh*t.” SOURCE

Once again, it’s time for the patented Popbytes Bullshit-To-Actual-Human-Speak Translator. Gimme a sec, I just have to set this on ‘Guido Famewhore’ …

“I want us to be together until the Jersey Shore royalties dry up; then imma find me a some new leprechaun hooch. I could see us having children; how else can I squeeze child support out of her when we divorce? I will never break her heart. Seriously, I can’t. It’s wrapped in a protective cocoon of fat, silicone and Ed Hardy. People think I’m using her for fame. Well a d’uhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.